OH Baby Book Cover International Edition
5 stars
New Idea BW
NZ College Of Midwies
Air New Zealand
Womans Day BW
Treasures BW
In Touch
Healthy Options

OH BABY … Birth, Babies & Motherhood Uncensored

By Kathy Fray

Some Mums call it their “Bible” – others say they refer to it “religiously” – but either way it’s a phenomenally informative book, written by a Kiwi mother for soon-to-be mothers, and researched alongside leading Obstetricians, Midwives, Paediatricians & Holistic Healers.

NZ’s leading literary agent Ray Richards says “Kathy Fray writes with force and conviction in an instinctive manner that readers are finding irresistible”. NZ’s College of Midwives says “Oh Baby reads like a long, loving chat with a wise aunty…She is insightful, blunt, compassionate, self-deprecating, affectionate, funny”. The Press says “Fray’s line of attack is different [not neutral, cautionary or clean]. She writes so energetically you can almost hear her … This book is alive”. World renowned maternity guru Sheila Kitzinger calls it “punchy”!

After having her own three children, Kathy Fray was annoyed at the existing mother-craft guide-books available: “They were usually all about the baby, with a seeming white-wash over the mother’s experiences … and always so perfect espousing their pious ideologies. I wanted to write realistic middle-of-the-road guilt-free truths, so this is a non-politically-correct book that is sensible, practical and brutally honest!”

Available in printed hard-copy and downloadable e-Book

Chapter Topics
CHAPTER-1: Being very pregnant!
Preparing mum’s mind (homebirth, hospital & waterbirth, labour support birth assistant, labour pain relief, active v physiological third stage, vitamin K, & more) – preparing mum’s body – preparing dad for your labour of love – preparing for labour – preparing for baby’s homecoming – preparing for mum’s homecoming – preparing for the parental marital relationship – overdue and bored? – and loads more.

CHAPTER-2: Organised for delivery…yip! Prepared for delivery…are you kidding!
The historical reality – medical interventions obstetric operations – signs labour is pending – inducing labour – first stage of labour (cervix dilatation) – second stage of labour (birthing the baby) – third stage of labour (birthing the placenta and membranes) – fourth stage of labour (the dawn of bonding) – and loads more. Arguably NZ’s absolute best overview guide to childbirth – essential reading for all first time parents-to-be, and for all second-timers keen for natural labour and normal birth.

CHAPTER-3: And baby makes three … oh my gosh – we’re parents!
Bonding – mother’s postnatal hospital stay (lochia, constipation, haemorrhoids, mother’s little helpers part-1 & more) – baby’s postnatal hospital stay (APGAR, umbilical cord, jaundice, Guthrie heel-prick test & more) – maternity baby blues – and loads more.

CHAPTER-4: Starting breast or bottle feeding
Breastmilk v formula – the very early days & colostrum – fundamentals of feeding & burping – engorgement – sore nipples – tongue-tie – yeast infection – blocked duct – breast infections – the pacifier debate – alcohol & medications – nipple confusion? – breast-&-bottle feeding – expressing – and loads more.

CHAPTER-5: I beg you, wee darling, please go to sleep and stay asleep…I need the rest!
Comprehensive and logical explanation of the 12 Golden Rules, 12 Magical Secrets and 20 Do’s & Don’ts of teaching a baby good sleep habits.

CHAPTER-6: The fourth trimester
Welcome home mum (diastasis recti, dysuria, anaemia, puerperal sepsis, coccydynia, thyroiditis, & more) – welcome home dad – welcome home baby (pees & poos, conjunctivitis, nappy rashes, skin things, massage, fontanelles, umbilical hernia, disease & more) – postnatal psychosis – coffee groups – and loads more.

CHAPTER-7: You’ve slept, fed, burped and you’re dry… why are you still crying?
Sick baby – teething baby – bored baby – lactose-intolerant baby – milk-protein-allergic baby – reflux baby – colicky baby – crying solutions – and more.

CHAPTER-8: Three’s a crowd? Three’s a family!
Parenting styles – parental marital relationship – sex? & contraceptives – help for the Life Sucks Syndrome – unpaid v paid work – the sacrifice – and loads more.

CHAPTER-9: Double-edged swords, cans of worms and hot potatoes!
Circumcision – fluoride – immunization – organic food – and loads more.

CHAPTER-10: Big miracles for our little miracles
Anatomy & physiology – Allopathic medicine V vis medicatrix naturae – naturopathy & homeopathy – cranial osteopathy – new trendy old medicines – and loads more.

CHAPTER-11: This is more than baby blues … I really don’t feel right!
Postnatal depression – post traumatic stress disorder – mother’s little helpers part-2 – master’s degree in womanly fortitude – and loads more.

CHAPTER-12: They’re only little for such a short time
Superwoman syndrome – bored baby – baby sign language – fevers & seizures – mother’s little helpers part-3 – the maternity magical mystery tour – intuition – and loads more.

CHAPTER-13: Starting solid foods
Ptyalin (why babies should not be fed starch) – sample menu – and more.

CHAPTER-14: Almost time to post first-birthday invitations
Omega-3 – day-sleep changes – breastfeed weaning – the Uterosexual – and more.

CHAPTER-15: My child is very bright…definitely above average, I’m sure!
Toddlerdom – meal suggestions – dummies – tantrums & meltdowns – clingy tyke – terrible two’s arrive early – love is…a mother – and more.

General development guide – benefits of breastmilk – maternal medications during breastfeeding – and more.


North & South Magazine

Kathy Fray’s clarity and commonsense brings fresh hope … [with her] highly successful, no-holds-barred book on motherhood … The readable and funny, fact-filled result is a remarkable achievement. North & South Magazine

Air New Zealand Magazine

A candid account of what it means to be a mother and doesn’t shrink from telling it like it is … from pelvic floor exercises to labour pains to how to get recalcitrant infants to sleep. Kathy Fray – with three children of her own and studying to be a midwife – offers clear-eyed insider’s view into the world of mothering. Air New Zealand Magazine

Ray Richards, Top Literary Agent

Kathy Fray writes with force and conviction in an instinctive manner that readers are finding irresistible … she is the new Barry Crump! Ray Richards, NZ’s leading Literary Agent

NZ College of Midwives

Fray’s book certainly refers to expert opinion – with information gleaned, checked and critiqued by a range of pregnancy, infancy, maternity and holistic specialists – but it is communicated through the voice of a pretty down-to-earth mum. Oh Baby reads like a long, loving chat with a wise aunty of the community – one who’s totally in love with babies and in awe of all women. She is insightful, blunt, compassionate, self-deprecating, affectionate, funny. NZ College of Midwives

Elizabeth Davis, Midwifery Guru & Author

I did indeed enjoy your book … you have your own style … it is a wonderful book! Elizabeth Davis, American Midwifery ‘guru’ & author of “Heart & Hands” & “The Circle of Life”

Denise Tiran, Midwifery Guru & Prolific Writer

The book is exceptionally detailed … I wish you all the best. Denise Tiran, British Midwifery ‘guru’ & prolific writer

Robbie Davis-Floyd, Midwifery Guru Writer & Speaker

I love your book! Robbie Davis-Floyd, American midwifery ‘guru’ writer & speaker

The Press

If you are looking to buy your first birth book, take it from someone who has read a good 10 (and digested maybe six of them) in the last 18 months: this one you might actually enjoy reading, and if you are not yet saturated with advice, you could go through it like a novel. These days, most baby books are … practical, medical, and cautionary. They are emotionally neutral and clean. Fray’s line of attack is different. She writes so energetically you can almost hear her … She used thought-provoking quotes and loves examples. This book is alive. The Press

New Idea Magazine

The use of everyday language is a relief … Any book dealing with medical conditions and terms must stand up to rigorous scrutiny from professionals and Kathy’s book passed with flying colours … Despite the many strings to her bow, this multi-talented woman’s objective is to help, not to instruct. Her book deals in an open and honest way with numerous subjects often neglected in other parenting books, circumcision, fluoride, lactose-intolerant children and babyless girlfriends, nothing has escaped Kathy’s attention. Attention to detail makes this book ideal, particularly for first-time parents who have a million questions swimming through their heads every day. New Idea Magazine

Mums On Top Website

Kathy Fray is a woman with a mission: to give pregnant and new mums a wealth of information so they can make their own choices. Reading her work is like chatting to your best friend. She knows what makes you worry and treats you with humour and respect. Her writing is so spirited and honest it feels like she is sitting right there beside you through the good and bad times of pregnancy, birth and those tentative months afterwards. Oh Baby is essential reading for all pregnant women. Mums On Top website

Littlies Parenting Magazine

A force not to be reckoned with, Kathy Fray provides a refreshing and commonsensical approach to modern day motherhood – every word with conviction and supported by thorough research throughout. We are delighted Kathy has joined our team of expert writers. Littlies Parenting Magazine

FEMME Fitness & Lifestyle Magazine

This book creates a revolutionary and trendsetting genre, with its unique combination of refreshing honesty, open frankness, candid bluntness, mumsy warm fuzzies, entertaining realism, philosophical wisdom, factual information and guilt-free explanations. FEMME Fitness & Lifestyle Magazine

PINK Magazine

Oh Baby has been extensively researched, alongside many expert specialists, including leading obstetricians, midwives, paediatricians and alternative healers, to get to the bottom of the myths, propaganda and zealot opinions that permeate through topics on birth, infants and motherhood. PINK Magazine

Healthy Options Magazine

Kathy Fray writes in a direct manner … which I would call just plain honest … Women who read this book before giving birth will come back to it again and again … Alongside the chatty, down-to-earth, pulls-no-punches style of the book, the author dispenses invaluable advice … Most importantly, Oh Baby celebrates the role of mother and honours all mums. Healthy Options Magazine


Mums on Top have researched many, many books and found this to be our favourite, Mums on Top best recommendation … Written by our fav baby guru Kathy Fray. This tell-all book is like having your very own wise woman sitting beside you throughout your birth and those precious months after birth. Kathy Fray’s conversational writing style makes the book easy to read and as difficult to put down as the telephone when chatting with your girlfriend! CoffeeGroup.org

InTouch Magazine

Informative barely begins to cover all that is in this gem of a book. Not only is it a guide, it is also filled with personal triumphs and lows, ones we all go through in being a woman, a friend, a mother, a nurturer … Kathy Fray has managed to find a balance between the human factor, the medical jargon and the old wives tales. InTouch Magazine

Dr William Ferguson MB ChB, Dip Obs, FRNZCGP

Kathy is the face of the future. She has balance, clarity of vision and she understands it’s all about supporting mothers. She comes at the subject from the mother’s perspective and doesn’t hitch motherhood to the ideology wagon … Her writing style communicates a sense of caring, intimacy and honesty … There is a positive energy and humour bubbling through the text. There are plenty of books about that dwell too heavily either on the medical side particularly with respect to the baby, or alternatively ones that adopt a radical ideology around childbirth and often lose touch with reality … [and] fail to educate or inform about the trials and tribulations of the first year or so after the birth … Kathy’s user friendly approach to the problems that commonly arise is both therapeutic and informative. Dr William Ferguson MB ChB, Dip Obs, FRNZCGP


Oh Baby is a rare book indeed! No longer can a new mother ask “why didn’t someone tell me…..?” Often irreverent, always factual and never dull, Oh Baby leaves you informed, confident and ready for wherever your own unique journey to motherhood leads. Jenni James PHD RN RM IBCLC, Australian Maternity Guru

Susan Johnson, Author

This comes to you with love and admiration, for your wonderful book, and for the warmth of character which so clearly shows through. Clearly, you are a woman of heart, and there are a lot of women out there who will be blessed to come across you, and your book. Susan Johnson, Author

Jackie Simpson Dep Hom.RC Home

It is important that new parents feel empowered to deal with most situations that will arise for them. However there is a lack of good, easily applied information available for new parents … Kathy is able to make a very valuable contribution in this area. Jackie Simpson Dep Hom.RC Hom

Wendy, Midwife

I am a midwife of 20 years now (not the grey bun baggy pantyhose type, still young and in my early 40’s!) … I was so delighted to see another sensible thinker out there, over the moon in fact! We are so often forced to practice ‘insensitive midwifery’ due to ‘evidence based’ research when it should be used to guide care in this field not dictate it. I will certainly be recommending her book to ensure new parents can re-train themselves to trust their own instinctive urges and feelings, tempered with the support of professionals who are dedicated to delivering a safe service which is best suited to their individual needs. Wendy, Midwife

Leeann, Midwife

Kathy – you are my hero! I think you are so clever, wise and loving. I love recommending your book to my clients through my antenatal classes. I am currently retailing Oh Baby, it fits so beautifully with my parenting and midwifery philosophies. I laughed and cried when I first read Oh Baby, I was totally gripped and a wee bit spooked – it just resonated with the whole tone and flavour that I teach, discuss and share through antenatal education. Leeann, Midwife

Karyn, Midwife

I have found your book awesome and very practical [and] am recommending it to all my clients … thanks for a great book/resource for our kiwi mums. Karyn, Midwife

Edevine, Mother

The book is really practical and full of good advice and anecdotes and I have read and re-read some of the chapters (especially the sleep stuff!!). It’s actually the most popular book amongst my antenatal group friends as well. Edevine, Mother

Malissa, Mother

I love the book and have many friends swearing by it! Thanks so much for it. I had a very smooth road into motherhood using it as my guide! I have a great sleeper and even though my daughter has just turned one I still use the book as a reference often. Malissa, Mother

Andrea, Mother

I’ve found my copy of it to be awesome, thanks!! … It’s a STUNNING book! Andrea, Mother

Tessa, Mother

Thank you so much for writing Oh Baby! It has been my bible! So easy to read and informative. Tessa, Mother

Bronwyn, Mother

Oh Baby is so well written and full of laughs. I can’t recommend this book enough. Bronwyn, Mother

Kath, Mother

We refer to Oh Baby (aka The Book!) all the time, in fact it’s quite dog-eared now. Thanks for making our first 5 months as parents so special – without Oh Baby, we’d be on the phone to Healthline constantly. We take much comfort in your words and advice … Since then I’ve bought 4 copies [for friends and acquaintances]. Your sleep advice has been invaluable -thank you, thank you, thank you! Every time we encounter a new stage, I have followed your advice, on numerous occasions. I’m thrilled to see you’re working on another book – all the best for your current ‘baby’. Kath, Mother

Tracey, Mother

Just wanted to say how great it was to meet you…and that you live nearby – I WILL keep you in mind when I plan my second baby – and I will tell my coffee group about your study – we all love the book so much and I know I would not be the only one to jump at having you as a midwife!!! All the best for your study! Tracey, Mother

Kirsten, Mother

I would like to thank Kathy for her brilliant book, which I have used a lot and recommend to other parents … Your book is brilliant and provides lots of great and balanced advice, which you really need when you are heading into parenthood. Your style is easy to read, and … so well put together.Thanks again for a great book, which saved my baby from a lot of pain. Kirsten, Mother

Fiona, Mother

Your ‘Oh Baby’ book is invaluable. I’ve sent a copy to my best friend in London, and we refer to it as our ‘baby Bible’! As a first time mother, it is wonderful to have a practical, funny and non-preachy book that doesn’t make you feel stupid. I recommend it to every pregnant person I know as an essential aid for parenting. Fiona, Mother

Erica, Mumma to be

Just bought and paid for a copy of Oh Baby after reading it cover to cover from the library and realizing this was a book I wanted and needed to own. Thank you. Erica, Mumma to be

Sally, Mother

I just wanted to say thank you for writing such a wonderful book … The most valuable bits to me have been about coping with the change in my life and I found myself feeling like you were describing my situation exactly! Reading your book has reassured me … made me feel so much better. I could go on and on about the book … Thanks again. Sally, Mother

Jay, Mother

Love your writing on sleep – so real, so true and so the best read about sleep and the baby – that I’ve seen! I love the way you validate the key points with why, how and reasons for (not just listing them as some other publications that I’ve seen do). Incidentally I’ve had 2 excellent sleepers (am on the second time round right now) yet have managed to learn even more tricks from you, to fine tune the latest “excellent sleeper” with!!! Thanks so much. I will be referring your book to others. Jay, Mother

Jay, Mother

This is a thank you for your wonderful book, Oh Baby. I was recommended this book when pregnant with my daughter and I read it cover to cover before she was born. She is an absolute dream baby but this is not good luck it is because of the book. I followed all you advice, religiously as it is my bible. Because of your sleep section she is a fantastic sleeper, never cries when I put her down, settles herself to sleep and doesn’t need any sleep inducements to go to sleep. I watch my friends who struggle with bedtimes and bad habits and feel so grateful that we had your advice. I recommend your book to people all the time especially when they are having problems with getting their wee ones to sleep. Thanks again from one happy household to another. Alicia, Mother

Karen, Mother

Have read your fantastic book “Oh Baby” and feel all mothers everywhere should do so. Am recommending it to everyone. Well done on such a great achievement to help so many mums out there.
Karen, Mother

Fran, Mother

Thanks for your book – changed my life! … I had (based on your book) managed to get my son sleeping through the night … I now have a 3mth old baby also (and thanks again to you), she sleeps really well.
Fran, Mother

Jay, Mummy

I have already emailed once to say how I love the book, particularly your similar views on baby’s sleep. This time, a couple of months later – I was searching through “Thriving under five” etc for a refresher course on solids (mostly common sense/done it all before, of course, but do have doubts at times!) AND of course it wasn’t until I read through your book’s chapter on solids that I got the info/reminder/confidence that I was after. SO ONCE AGAIN A BIG THANK YOU! 🙂 Jay, Mummy

Manya, Mother

I absolutely love Kathy’s book. I recommend it to all my girlfriends. Manya, Mother

Elle, Mother

Hey Kathy, my bub is 4 months now and I have absolutely loved having your OH BABY on hand, ready for me to look up and find info on things I’m wondering about. It’s like having a mid-wife/extremely-knowledgeable-friend on hand 24/7 to answer all my questions and educate me on everything to do with bubs. Thank you so much 🙂 Elle, Mother

Parenting Website

This was the treasured book that I consistently referred to during the lead-up to and beginning of motherhood. I admit that I originally purchased it largely because it had the word “uncensored” in the title, which got me thinking that it contained some genuine, straight-up, frank advice on the things that most people won’t warn you about. I wasn’t disappointed. But there is more to the book than just honest advice … . Fray often presents not just her own personal opinion, but other equally valid points of view, leaving the reader to choose which advice best suits their own style and values … What I appreciated most about this book was how it enlightened, educated and, most of all, encouraged me … Fray leaves no stone unturned, and dispels many myths about birth, bonding and newborns, all with an undercurrent of gentle humour … The book now sits on our bookshelf at home, but rest assured there were months when it took pride of place in the middle of our lounge, always within an arm’s reach. OH BABY! Parenting Website

Stork-To-Chalk Website

At last, a simple, yet informed, down-to-earth book … justifiably becoming the new bible for parents. It’s a no-holes barred, non-judgmental look at parenting … practical advice and tips, with a strong emphasis on well being and health, both for the mother and baby. Fray writes “We’re often 32 year old and 42 year old educated, successful and respected women, with zero infant practical experience, going home after our two-day stay in hospital, naively thinking – how hard can it be? But two weeks later, that previously self confident and capable woman can find herself inconceivably isolated, hopelessly fumbling over everyday mothering tasks, enduring quite literally torturous levels of sleep deprivation, feeling desperately despondent and physically aching everywhere….I just wanted to scream ‘Why won’t anybody tell the truth?’ That’s what prompted me to research and write this book.” OH BABY covers the last trimester, through to the first year of parenting … If you only want one book in your parenting collection, then this is the one to buy. Stork-To-Chalk Website

Helen, Mother

Hi. Just wanted to say that your book is absolutely fantastic and saved me many grey hairs! I bought all the main stream books but OH BABY is far and above the best. As a first time Mum it was a life saver – especially in those moments when you just don’t know what the heck to do or who to ask … So, anyway, I just thought I’d say thanks! Helen, Mother

Jo Hogan, Bella Mama

I enjoyed reading your book (I’m stocking it at Bella Mama now). It was absolutely fab, so down to earth but very compassionate and understanding too. I especially liked the section on how to get through those first challenging few weeks as a new mum and how to nurture and care for yourself and ask for support. I’m recommending it to all my yoga girls and will soon write a review to go out in my Bella Mama newsletter. Jo Hogan, Bella Mama

Janine, Mother

Hi Kathy. I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate this book. I borrowed it from my friend, and when I had to return it (as she was having baby number 2) I went and purchased it myself. My husband and I pick it up ALL THE TIME! It is like a manual for babies, your advice is so practical, you cover everything so well and no nonsense. I have told all my pregnant friends to purchase it, as to me it’s a compulsory item for all mothers to have – it’s nothing short of a life saver. Janine, Mother

Deirdre, Midwife

Hi Kathy, loved the book, and refer to it on a regular basis. I’ve been a midwife for 12 years and am finally mum to my first baby. I’ve been impressed at how well researched your book is and also that you manage to give loads of advice without being overly biased. I have found it so interesting and reassuring to hear what an experienced Mum has to say. Especially when floundering – your chapter on sleep was particularly helpful! We’ve had our Grace in your BabyOK babe-sleeper since I stopped swaddling her at 7 months and find it fantastic. Thanks for a great book and product. Deirdre, Midwife

Dulcie, Grandmother

“Have been reading your book from the Library…it is just so good, don’t know how you put so much knowledge together so well. I am into natural things and although now a grandmother of 5 I think it is just so interesting. Will pass it on for my daughter to read. So, my warmest congratulations on a book well done!” Dulcie, Grandmother

Astrid, Mother

“I really enjoyed your book, and still often refer to it. We arrived in Canada just a few months before I gave birth, being away from all family and not knowing anyone here, I found it a huge help! All the very best to you and your family.” Astrid, Mother

Katherine, Mother

Thanks Kathy, as a first time mum I thought I was pretty prepared. I had read a lot of books, was a trained teacher and had watched my older sister. However the reality was far different. I have recently purchased your book and it is fabulous. It gives me the confidence to follow my instincts and reinforces commonsense. While I still have not got things perfect (if they ever will be) I feel more confident and am sure I will get there in the end. Thank you once again. Katherine, Mother

Sara, Mother

Thank you immensely Kathy, for writing your book – especially the information on ptyalin and introducing me to [the research of] Herbert Shelton! My daughters life (and mine) is changed immeasurably for the better because of it! Thank you thank you THANK YOU!!!!! Sara, Mother

Angela, Mum

Hi Kathy, I’m a huge fan of your book ‘Oh Baby’. I’ve bought multiple copies for various friends and relatives having babies and even posted it to my sister-in-law in the USA. I myself have lent heavily on it since the birth of my first baby. I even had the nurses at the hospital (after my caesarean) helping me get my wee man into the sleeping habit of wake-feed-play and I’m very happy to say that he’s been sleeping through the night since only a couple of weeks old. Angela, Mum

Brigid, mother

A fantastic, indispensable book – this is the third one I’ve bought as a gift for mummies-to-be! Brigid, mother

Angela, Mum

Hi Kathy, I’m a huge fan of your book ‘Oh Baby’. I’ve bought multiple copies for various friends and relatives having babies and even posted it to my sister-in-law in the USA. I myself have lent heavily on it since the birth of my first baby. I even had the nurses at the hospital (after my caesarean) helping me get my wee man into the sleeping habit of wake-feed-play and I’m very happy to say that he’s been sleeping through the night since only a couple of weeks old. Angela, Mum

Anna, Mother

I’ve greatly enjoyed your book which was lent to me by my occupational therapist. As a new mum with a disability I’ve found your book has helped me gain some confidence. Anna, Mother

Melanie, Mother & Midwifery Student

I have a huge amount of respect for your knowledge and passion … I am with Parents Centre and hugely passionate about empowering women and advocating natural, positive birthing experiences … the whole committee love your book. Melanie, Mother & Midwifery Student

Amie, Mother-to-be

Hi there, I just wanted to pass on my thanks to Kathy Fray for her book “Oh Baby”. I started reading it a few months ago, our first baby is due in December and I have been given heaps of books to read, but have found Oh Baby the best by far! I was hooked from the first honest non-biased page. Thank you for such a wonderful piece of important literature! Amie, Mother-to-be

Elena, Mother

I am a mother of one boy. After four years of “trying” for another “small miracle” finally I am pregnant – 23 weeks. One of my colleagues brought me your book and said “Here is something you can be interested in” and I was very sarcastic about it – hey I know everything about “being a mother”, but took it “just in case”. Every Wednesday my husband is away till late in the night for study. So one of those lonely Wednesdays I started to read your book and every page was telling me that I do not know everything and even more I missed lots of amazing moments. I have got your book just in time and will enjoy every single moment of my new baby … I would like to say how much I enjoyed to read it for the last two months and will be happy to read it again and again. Thank you!!! Elena, Mother

Susan, mother

Recommend ‘Oh Baby’ book to everyone not just 1st time mothers. I’m having 3rd child and borrowed the book from a friend, its so great & I’ve learnt so much from it, I decided I needed a copy of my own so I could referring to it. Susan, Mother

Aylene, Mother

I have bought three of these books for presents now after being lent one from a friend. Three won’t be the final number either…Thank you. Aylene, Mother

Jessica, Mother

I am giving this book to my sister-in-law for Christmas – she is expecting in April and I don’t know what I would have done without this book when I was a new mother. It was my reference and best friend many times. It was the first thing I thought of when deciding what to buy her. Jessica, Mother

Michelle, Mother

Your book is amazing and we refer to it almost daily. I recommend it to all new parents and suggest they ‘throw out’ most other books in favour of Oh Baby. It’s certainly much simpler and less confusing. Michelle, Mother

Andrea, Mother

Your book was given to me by a non-child friend !! She had heard it was the bible of new parents. She was right. My baby Katie is 8 weeks old, happy and healthy and sleeping through the night thanks to you and your wonderful book. Most of the pages are highlighted in blue and some are falling out…especially the 12 magical secrets part. I have since given a copy to a girl I met in Antenatal class and it to has become her bible. So I just wanted to thank you so much for sharing your knowledge, my husband and I and Katie are grateful !! Kind regards, Andrea, Mother

Sheryl, Canada

Hi Kathy – love your book!! … My Mum has bought 3 copies of your book, one for me, my sister-in-law and my brother’s partner (all of us have had babies within 2 months of each other!!) Sheryl, Canada

Janice, Grandma

I love your book! I bought it for my son and daughter-in-law and found myself reading it as well … I am going to share it with all my dear friends who become new Grandmas. Janice, Grandma


Purchased Oh Baby for an expectant girlfriend and have subsequently bought the book many times over as it’s my ‘go-to’ gift for preggy friends. Lisa

Michelle, Mother-to-be

Hi, I am currently reading this book and it was given to me by my cousin who refered to it as “her Bible”. My husband and I are both finding it to be absolutely fantastic as we are about to become first time parents, thank you so much! I really just wanted to say a huge thanks. A lot of the literature out there can be extremely overwhelming and this has the right balence of information. 🙂 I am going to recommend to all my friends!! Michelle, Mother-to-be

Michelle, Mother

Thanks Kathy so much for this wonderful book. I have my own copy and purchased this one for a friend, and she is super rapt with it! I highly recomend this book to any future mother to be as it is a fantastic, relatable and informative masterpiece! 🙂 Michelle, mother

Mum, Kristin

Hi Kathy – I just wanted to thank you. I have a little boy who is now 13 months. He had severe reflux and colic until he was about 10 months. In the last few weeks I “hit the wall” – almost a delayed reaction to what we have been through in the last year. I have felt really inadequate and have lost confidence in my ability to parent him because of the tough time he/we had. Last night I read chapter 7 of Oh Baby. I don’t know why I haven’t read it before now (must have skipped those pages pre-birth as I never thought I’d have an unhappy baby!) and your words have actually turned my whole outlook around. I wanted to thank you for addressing those issues and in such an insightful way. I read 289 – 290 to my husband and for the first time we feel that we are not crazy for having felt so overwhelmed. It is so relieving to know that our response has been very typical of this situation. I have read so many baby books and always felt that none adequately addressed this area. I am so so grateful for you understanding what I have been through and including it in your book. 2 GPs and 3 paediatricians have failed to come close to supporting us in our plight. Keep up the writing!! Hopefully you are still practising midwifery when/if (!!) I have another baby! Best regards, Mum, Kristin

Mother, Katie

Your book was an absolute godsend during my pregnancy. Having read a lot of book from such authors as Michel Odent, Janet Balaskas, Ina May Gaskin, Tracy Hogg, etc I found yours to be the most influential. Such a fabulous read! I felt like you had done all the hard yards and collated all of the research required to provide a book that covered everything one could possibly need to know. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your two-sided approach to every argument and your non-judgmental approach to childbirth and child-rearing. I recommend your book to everyone who will listen! Mother, Katie

Nadia, Mother

I am a young mum of 3 little girls and are expecting baby 4 anytime now. Never had I come across this book and was delighted to find it exists. Wish I had read it when I had my first, recommend it to everyone I know and will hate the day I have to give it back, I’m only lending it. Even 3 kids later, it’s a refreshing, do it right, almost black and white, way of putting everything from childbirth up and I just thought I’d share my appreciation!! Well done Kathy!! Nadia, Mother

Annaliese Jones, Naturopathic Herbalist

Hi there Kathy. I just wanted to say, I picked up your book after my talk at the Parenting Place yesterday. WOW! so much wonderful information. I had a quick squizz at the natural health section and love your style on that front. Can’t wait to read the rest. I can already tell I will be recommending it to patients left, right and center! Kind Regards, Annaliese Jones, Naturopathic Herbalist

Mum, Jane

I am 38yo and 7 months pregnant with my first. I read so many books and my next book is the Baby Whisperer. But your book is my bible … Thank you so much for writing your book. I am so scared and excited too. Mum, Jane

Anne, Grandmother

I am a Wellington grandmother currently babysitting my 3 week old grandson in Brisbane while his mother has gone to the doctor with suspected mastitis. THANK YOU for your wonderful book! Chapter 5 is the bible and I have either bought or recommended it to many friends for their daughters and sons with new babies. Your sleep philosopy sooo works and is so incredibly easy. What a pity I didn’t know about it when my own children were little. Anne, Grandmother

Bryony, Mother

This is the 3rd copy of the book I have bought! I bought one for myself when pregnant and have since bought two others (this one included) for my sisters in law – it’s an awesome resource! I couldn’t part with mine!!! Bryony, Mother

Book Extracts

We are an untraditional and revolutionary style of mother today – something this planet has seen little of before. Prior to starting families we may have been a respected, successful, travelled, accomplished, proven, prosperous, autonomous, intrinsically individual woman – expert in being self-assured, self-confident, self-contained, self-controlled, self-determined, self-disciplined and self-sufficient, with self-respect, self-worth and high self-esteem. We may also have been too self-absorbed and self-centred, suffering from self-blame, self-destructiveness, self-importance and self-consciousness. Who made us so damned important to ourselves?
Kathy Fray, “Oh Baby”

In any gathering of women there is a camaraderie that exists among those who have experienced childbirth. It’s like a secret handshake or an ultraviolet mark that only they know distinguishes them as veterans of the same war – A pregnant woman such as yourself is a probationary member of this sorority…. And after this forty-week (more or less) probationary period will come the magic time when you will become a charter member, when you will have passed the ultimate hazing ritual: DELIVERY … This sorority of women is full of all sorts of self-congratulation, because only another mother knows what each of us has gone through to qualify for membership. Like veterans of war, we show our battle scars like medals: Caesarean sections, stretch marks, our inability to sneeze without wetting our pants … Secretly we know, we are Earth’s real heroes.
Vicki Iovine, “The Girlfriends” Guide To Pregnancy”

When you were last at home you were a couple – but now you’re a family! What a surreal, almost delusional, experience it is. It’s some crazy kaleidoscope mix of floating on clouds and running over hot coals, as the overpowering reality and overwhelming anxiety sets in. You are now forever ultimately responsible 24-7 for your newborn baby’s life. Shikes! With or without the mysterious bonding having occurred, nearly all mums have their heart-strings stretched so tight it is as if they have been catapulted into space, circled Mars, and are returning back down to Earth on some crash course trajectory.
Kathy Fray, “Oh Baby”

Motherhood can be a doorway into the Bohemian state of living; to your own sense of values, seeking inner authenticity; and standing up for your own unique way to live – the embryonic beginnings of learning to trust life”s unknown journeys.
Kathy Fray, “Oh Baby”

The couples I saw around me were in good marriages. But the new parents were brittle – The women were wiped out from baby care and whatever other work they were doing.
They looked at the conflicting expectations of motherhood and the workplace, of their feminism and their marriages, and thought: Nothing I do is enough. The men, too, were tired – they worked all day and came home to have a baby thrust at them. They looked at their father’s lives and saw that expectations upon their own lives had doubled, and thought: Nothing I do is enough – My life as a mother had become just what I feared. My delight in our child was absolute. At the same time, I experienced a tightening of the world”s circumference; I was chained to the couch, nursing; I was stunned with fatigue; I was a vast primate of flesh – none of the weight gained in pregnancy had “melted away”.
Naomi Wolf, “Misconceptions”

Granted, information is empowering – Regretfully, many parents today are victims of information overload – Worse still, their own common sense has been drowned out by other people’s ideas.
Tracy Hogg, “Secrets of the Baby Whisperer”

To work, or not to work: that is the question – but if you psychoanalysed the “answer”, its personality would be described as a deranged, confused, bewildered lost soul. There is no right or wrong response, only what is best for you. Yet, hasn’t society done an astoundingly stupendous job of telling women what they need to do to be a perfect mother? Collectively, it’s an insulting slap in the face. We’re not stupid, you know – So now modern, educated mothers of the new millennium are left with the always perplexing, enigmatic, problematic and virtually unsolvable conundrum, of whether to choose the guilt of working, or the guilt of not working. And if finances dictate there is no option but to work, then there”s the guilt of not having the choice of your first-preferred guilt. It’s so absurd, that it’s sadly comical.
Kathy Fray, “Oh Baby”

Self-sacrifice and self-denial seem integral to motherhood because a child’s demands and needs are limitless – But there is no such thing as a “good” mother, only a good-enough mother – it is increasingly hard for women to feel as if they are “good” mothers, when paradoxically they have probably never done a better job.
Kate Figes, “Life After Birth”

Today’s women are repeatedly informed that they cannot possibly find complete personal fulfilment just from motherhood – they also need a personal exercise routine (preferably with a personal trainer of course); they need a personal skin beautifying regime, a personally uplifting sex life, personal time-out for meditation, a wardrobe full of personal favourites, a regularly visited personal hairdresser, oh, and don’t forget an articulate and interesting personality – what a load of codswallop. These days, if you admit to feeling complete fulfilment through motherhood, you’re damned. At the same time, if you admit you can”t find complete fulfilment through motherhood, you”re also damned. It’s a lose-lose situation.
Kathy Fray, “Oh Baby”

Any science that considers only the physical understands only the corpse.
Rudolph Steiner, Austrian philosopher

When we talk to God, we’re praying. When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic.
Lily Tomlin, Actress

I think that I will spend about half my life feeling like I am not myself. If you count the week or so every month before my period, when I am less than efficient, then throw in pregnancy, nursing and recovery, and top it off with that whole perimenopause and menopause part, it really adds up. My question is “if I am not myself for so much of my life, who am I really?”
Tracy W Gaudet, “Consciously Female”

Some women say it is possible to “have it all”. That is, happy, well-adjusted, well-achieving children; a loving, devoted husband; a fulfilling, rewarding career; a clean and tidy, beautiful home; a well-exercised and toned body; the security of financial independence; an exciting social life; a stimulating sex life; and a radiant, porcelain complexion.
Maybe that is eventually achievable – but it sure doesn’t usually happen in the first year of motherhood. And it would be rare for a mother to accomplish all that while feeling completely guilt free and truly personally fulfilled. Realise it can be just an enigmatic charade, and while you”re so fixated on achieving, you can be missing out on enjoying today. (And by the way, getting to “have it all” actually translates as “having to do it all”.)
Kathy Fray, “Oh Baby”

Every day I start out as Mary Poppins, but end up as Cruella De Vil.
Mum’s The Word” Stage Show

I’m turning into my mother! My rebellion, tattoos and body-piercing have been for nothing!
“Mum”s The Word” Stage Show

There is a collective force rising up on the earth today, an energy of the reborn feminine – She remembers our function on earth – This is a time of a monumental shift, from the male dominance of human consciousness back to a balanced relationship between masculine and feminine. The Goddess archetype doesn’t replace God; she merely keeps him company. She expresses his feminine face.
Marianne Williamson, “A Woman”s Worth”

Motherhood liberates us to finally strip away from ourselves (if we empower it to) everything we have built up as an intrinsic definition of our selves – Like mothers before us, and mothers after us, as life’s elegant shroud is finally disrobed to reveal its beautiful yet scarred and imperfect raw nudity; you have profoundly realised, that you will never always be, and are not mean to be, happy all the time. What a comforting relief! What a deliverance from purgatory! Finally, the search is over. God, that”s so f**king reassuring. Perhaps that is the ultimate gift that motherhood can bestow: A knowing relief that happiness is always with us, and never with us always.
Kathy Fray, “Oh Baby”

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!”
Joker Unknown

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street, with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they’re sexy!
Joker Unknown