By Jaquie Brown

The ultimate guide to getting and being pregnant – with advice from leading maternity specialists (including midwife Kathy Fray) What exactly is cheeseburger crotch? Getting cellulite on your cellulite? Inhaling a lemon to cope with morning sickness? Been compared to a silverback gorilla? This book reveals the answers to almost every question every woman has about being pregnant — from practical information to the more awkward and unmentionable topics. Jaquie’s been there done that, and she can help you keep your sense of humour as well as reassure you about those pregnancy curveballs.

The complete and utter total big fat guide to making and growing an awesome healthy baby is here! A very funny and honest book that covers everything from getting pregnant and being pregnant. I’m Not Fat,I’m Pregnant looks at how to get pregnant fast — including the latest nutritional and lifestyle research, how to increase your chances of getting pregnant, what’s happening with your body and your baby each week, as well as including weekly nutritional tips, morning sickness remedies, plus details about what to expect from your body after birth. And finally, one of the most helpful parts of the book, ‘Tips for New Mums’, which is a collection of first-hand advice from mums and dads who have lived through the newborn phase and come out the other side.

Jacquie Brown

Comprehensive and calming, reassuring and reliable, I’m Not Fat, I’m Pregnant! leads mums-to-be through pregnancy and birth with caring compassion. With sections on preconception, pregnancy, birth, and the first few weeks with a newborn, Jaquie tells you what you need to know and shares her personal pregnancy story along the way. Written by Jaquie while she was going through her own pregnancy and designed for NZ mums, you’ll find Jaquie’s own daily pregnancy diary as well as interviews and the latest research from industry professionals including medical expertise from renowned obstetrician Dr Emma Parry, pregnancy fitness advice from leading postnatal fitness advisor Karina Balle, nutritional guidance from nutritionist Nikki Hart, and holistic guidance from midwife and author Kathy Fray, as well as advice from other specialists ;ike baby whisperer Sharlene Poole’s who takes on surviving with a newborn. .. I’m Not Fat, I’m Pregnant! is the book to rely on.

Once pregnant or wanting to be, you are about to embark on one of the most amazing, life-changing, heart-explodingwith-love experiences of your life, and you don’t want to start that without some useful information and a lot of support. Throughout the book, you’ll also read the stories of other parents-to-be and their different experiences of pregnancy. Men share about their feelings and experiences of pregnancy and fatherhood and women talk about their own experiences of pregnancy and birth. From twin births, IVF births, drug free births, I-didn’t-know-I-was-pregnant births, women who totally enjoy giving birth, birth after discovering the baby had an abnormality, to a lady giving birth to her 8th baby.

​Thoroughly researched, this book took Jaquie three years to write and answers all the questions you are just too embarrassed to ask. Witty, insightful, caring and highly accessible, Jaquie is incredibly reassuring — like a friend keeping you company on your pregnancy journey. Talking directly to the reader, the book is written in Jaquie’s unique natural style and is comprehensive and well researched, as well as laugh-out-loud funny.

You’ll find everything you need to know as you move through your pregnancy. You’ll be guided each step of the way by the book’s obstetrician, midwife, nutritionist and personal trainer, helping you have the healthiest pregnancy you can. Jaquie will also be with you every step of the way, sharing her experience in a daily diary – sometimes funny, sometimes emotional but always real. You’ll read about IVF, pregnant sex, single mums, body changes, soap cravings and much more. You’ll find 30 morning sickness cures, discover why your poo might be angry, what birth is like and how to cope when your baby is finally here.

Written for the wanting-to-be-pregnant and newly-pregnant mums-to-be, this is truly your one-stop-guide to everything the Kiwi gal needs to know about being pregnant, including sections on Preconception, First Trimester, Second Trimester, Third Trimester, Labour & Birth, and the Fourth Trimester (newbornhood). Well researched, up to date and comprehensive, I’m not fat I’m pregnant! is the hilarious and heart-warming book every mum-to-be needs on her bedside table.

Author Biography

Jaquie Brown is a television star and media personality, and has a beautiful baby boy Leo. Jaquie was born in London and immigrated to New Zealand with her family in 1991 when she was 15. She began her broadcasting career aged 18 at student radio 95bFM and studied audio engineering. Before being picked up to present live music show Space on TV2. Jaquie went on to become one of the original anchors on music channel C4 before becoming a reporter for TV3’s current affairs show Campbell Live.

In 2007 Jaquie formed the company Young, Gifted & Brown which produced the comedy series The Jaquie Brown Diaries which won Best Comedy Programme Series in both 2009 and 2010 at the Qantas Film and Television Awards, and has aired in Australia, USA and Europe. The show takes a satirical look at the life of a C-grade celebrity who will stop at nothing to get to the top. Jaquie was a NZ Herald and North & South’s New Zealander of the Year in 2008. In 2009 her book Jaquie Brown’s Guide to Everything and Recipes and Quizzes was published.
She also fronts presentation of the 2012 Keep Calm and Carry On, a six-part television documentary presenting a humorous series about motherhood.

In I’m not Fat, I’m Pregnant! this classic kiwi comedienne has documented her journey as a pregnant woman, with the book also covering pre-pregnancy, labour and birth and the ‘fourth trimester’ (the first three months with a newborn). In a literary market already covering a lot of these bases, Jaquie had her work cut out for her to produce something that would stand out from the myriad of pregnancy guides available. She’s succeeded admirably.

Jacquie Brown Pics
‘Why did I write this book? Well, you might think I’m an obsessive nutter, but when it came to my own pregnancy I had to know everything there was to know — from the truth about weird lady mucus, pregnant sex and cheeseburger crotch, to how to actually get pregnant in the first place and the real, honest truth about birth.’ — Jaquie Brown

Kiwi Families Midwife Kathy Fray

I’m bias with my review, because I assisted with some of the editing, and contributed “Midwife Comments” to the final manuscript … alongside other “experts” including the renowned obstetrician Dr Emma Parry, TV celeb nutritionist Nikki Hart, baby whisperer Sharlene Poole, maternity fitness guru Karina Balle, and many others.

With Jaquie’s usual funky and whacky style of humour, she gets to the nitty-gritty of every topic frankly, factually and funnily – and hey, it is vital to maintain some level of sense of humour during such hormone-drenched months of maternity “bliss” … and Jaquie does it so well.

Since the best-selling success of my OH BABY guide to birth, babies and motherhood, and its sequel OH GROW UP guide to toddlers to preteens, well I’ve been meaning to write a Pregnancy guide book too. And now, I honestly don’t need to bother, because Jaquie has done SUCH a fab job … Plus I’ve had the opportunity to pass on the most key pieces of wisdom I especially wished for pregnant women to know, through contributing to Jaquie’s manuscript. So from my perspective it’s all a fabulous win-win!

Recommend this book to all your girlfriends who are planning to become pregnant, or are newly pregnant. It’s a God-send. Kiwi Families Midwife Kathy Fray

Reader Review by Kiwi Families Sally Mangai

There is a great combination of approaches in this book that make for lively, engaging reading … There are anecdotes from other women and men about their journeys and experiences on certain topics, which make for great reading and offer a broad perspective on how different, yet similar, pregnancy can be for different families. Jaquie also involves professionals on various topics dealt with in the book, so you can be reassured that the information given is accurate and well researched. Being a comedy star, Jaquie does dash out the humour in reasonable doses throughout, but she is sensitive where sensitivity is due and has struck a nice balance between the two.

The book is broken into sections – so it is easy to find information, and information is thoroughly cross referenced throughout the book also which is handy, as pregnancy has so many ailments that can occur at any point in time. The mid-section of the book deals with pregnancy on a week-by- week basis, so you can read it and find out exactly what your little ‘nubbin’ is up to at roughly that point in time…

I also like the fact that many, many side effects of pregnancy are dealt with and normalised … even some things I received blank looks on from my own healthcare professionals are in Jaquie’s pregnancy guide. I found that very reassuring! I thoroughly recommend it as the kiwi girl’s guide through this amazing, incredible time.Sally Mangai, Reader review from Kiwi Families

Miriyana Alexander, Stuff.co.nz

This is one of the most explosive celebrity tell-alls of the year. In her new book, journalist, actress, author and all-round funny woman Jaquie Brown opens up about sex, her dramatic weight gain and her battles with vomiting and pooing. There’s even revelations about an attempt to drag her off to the loony bin.

Ah yes, Brown’s ultimate guide to pregnancy has it all. Although I mightn’t have felt that way had a little one not been about to join our household too. Brown is the proud mum of one-year- old Leo and began researching this book before she got pregnant. So there’s plenty of advice about getting in shape to do that, before the book breaks into “what’s happening to your body and baby this week” pregnancy chapters, interspersed with expert advice on nutrition, exercise etc. So far, so standard. But two things elevated this above the abundance of pregnancy literature for me – the practical advice from mums, dads and experts on everything from breastfeeding to coping with a newborn, and Brown’s hilarious, and harrowing, pregnancy diary. Sweet Jesus, did she have a rough time.

Extreme morning sickness saw her vomit right to the end of her pregnancy, after a 40-hour labour she nearly needed a caesarean, and when her “precious pup” finally arrived he was spirited off to NICU because he wasn’t breathing. Scary.

I’ve been blessed with a straightforward pregnancy and am not daunted by the prospect of birth, so this wasn’;t off-putting. Instead, I welcomed Brown’s warts-and- all honesty about everything from her giant boobs and blocked nose to pregnancy sex and a body covered in zits. Knowledge is power and all that.

“Even though my morning sickness was hideous, my labour was long, I’ve cleaned up exploding poo from clothes, walls and carpets and now get to see the sunrise every day whether I like it or not . . . having Leo has been the most wonderful, fulfilling, heart-exploding-with- love experience of my life.” I really hope she’s right. Miriyana Alexander, Stuff.co.nz